TRADITIONS -- THE ADHESIVE FOR FAMILIES
Objectives
To help families develop a sense of identity and belonging by establishing individualized spiritual traditions in their homes.
Approach
Play beginning clip from "The Fiddler on the Roof" video.
(transition)
Have you ever felt like that fiddler, balanced on the perch of the roof, trying to play a pleasant tune with your family without breaking your neck? Do you feel the tension of balancing the contemporary with the traditional--that is trying to remain current in a cultural sense without sacrificing your spiritual heritage? Tevye, the dairyman in "The Fiddler on the Roof" said that the peasants in Anatevka kept their balance on that roof with what? -- Tradition! Today we will look at traditions and how they enable a family to bond and remain strong in a very unstable society.
I. WHAT ARE TRADITIONS? "By traditions, I'm referring to those recurring events and behaviors that are anticipated -- especially by children-- as times of closeness and fellowship between loved ones." (Dobson article)
A. What are some of the traditions that you observe in your family? (Discussion)
B. What are some of the traditions that you most remember from your family of origin? (Discussion)
C. What are some of the traditions/rituals we observe in our church?
D. Sources of traditions:
1. Holidays/Seasons
2. Family heritage
3. Cultural/ethnic customs
4. Patriotic customs
5. Scripture
II. WHAT VALUE DO TRADITIONS HOLD?
A. They give a family a sense of identity and belonging. "All of us desperately need to feel that we're not just part of a busy cluster of people living together in a house, but we're a living, breathing family that's conscious of our uniqueness, our character and our heritage. That feeling is the only antidote for the loneliness and isolation that characterizes so many homes today." (Dobson, 1982)
1. "There is no way to overestimate the power of a sense of belonging, as it affects young persons. Family tradition may not always be good, but it always makes a difference." (Trueblood, 1953).
2. This sense of belonging to an ongoing and special family tradition enables children and adults alike to have strength of character and pride in ones'self and ones' heritage.
B. They communicate to our children what we think is important. We need to make our lives a reflection of what the Bible teaches and let our children see it! Daily by the choices we make and the attitudes we display, we teach our children what we value most. Deut. 6:6-7
C. They expose our children to God's Word and how it applies to our daily life. Prov. 22:6
1. "It's easier to build children, than to rebuild men. . . soft wax can be molded and remolded, hard wax will crumble. The young tree can be planted, replanted, trimmed and bent to any shape; not so the grown. So also the hands and limbs of man can be trained for art and craft only during his childhood, as long as sinews are soft. . .In the same way piety must be implanted into the hearts during infancy lest it not root. If we want to educate a person in virtue, we must polish him at a tender age." (Norman Cruikshank, 1994)
2. "The absence of prayer at home is more damaging than is absence of prayer at Sunday School. What is necesary is that the ordianry child grow up with the notion that religion is not at all queer or strange, but is a normal part of normal living." (Trueblood, 1953).
3. Judges 2:10 gives us the results of failing to instill God's Word in our children's lives. Which generation do we belong to?
D. They provide a framework for creative family interaction that fosters family harmony and bondedness spanning the generations.
E. They create meaningful memories for our children.
III.HOW CAN WE INCORPORATE SPIRITUAL TRADITIONS IN OUR FAMILIES?
A. "The time has come to 'square up' our traditions with the truth. How has God worked in human history? What is God's goal for our lives?" (Zimmerman, 1993) It's time to reclaim our Christian heritage and celebrate God's presence in our lives.
B. Over-view of future class topics. (See tentative schedule)
C. Personal testimony of how the Morgans and Ratcliffs have begun to practice this.
Conclusion
"Each home will have to make its own experiment in religious education if the moral sag of our time is to be altered. The change cannot come by governmental fiat or even by some public educational reform. The best education is that of the laboratory and the only laboratory in which the most important lessons can be learned is that of the home. . . The problems of family life today are so great that they cannot possibly be solved on the merely secular level. Only something as strong as a sense of religious vocation will suffice." (Trueblood, 1953).
Elton Trueblood penned these words in 1953. The "moral sag" of his time pales in comparison to what our children live in today. We must be deligent in teaching our children what God says and one excellent way to do that is by establishing some family traditions.
Carry-over
Describe how your family celebrates 3 major holidays. List several spiritual truths your traditional celebration communicates to your family.
Describe what you think the perfect Sabbath should be. What activities are most important to your family's spiritual growth?
Bibliography
Cruikshank, Norman, "How Important Are Our Children?" Atlanta, GA: Mount Paran Messenger, June, 1994.
Dobson, James, "Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions," Tyndale House Pub., 1982.
Gaither, Gloria and Dobson, Shirley, "Let's Make a Memory," Waco, TX: Word Books, 1983.
Klein, Patricia, et. al., "Growing up Born Again," Old Tappan, NJ: Fleming H. Revell Co., 1987.
Trueblood, Elton and Pauline, "The Recovery of Family Life," New York: Harper Bros., 1953.
Zimmerman, Martha, "Celebrating the Christian Year," Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House Pub., 1993.